Weapon-Wielding Student Thwarted by Perceptive Faculty
A Christina School District student in Newark, Delaware was apprehended today before he was able to turn his weapon on his fellow students. The quick-acting faculty of his school noticed right away when he pulled out his dangerous weapon in the school lunchroom. They immediately confiscated the weapon and proceeded to properly discipline the miscreant.
Zachary obtained his weapon as a member of a sinister paramilitary hate group, as will soon be determined by our nation’s Attorney General. The student had also been training in a dangerous form of hand-to-hand combat techniques which would likely have made him difficult to stop in his devious plan to take over his school.
School officials were quick to mete out his just punishment. He was immediately suspended from school and will spend 45 days in the district’s re-education camp where his instructors will help him unlearn his violent ways. The school district, in a statement, said rules are rules and defended its decision to suspend the boy.
We don’t have the capacity to interpret the rules handed down to us from on high. Our only course of action was to follow the letter of the rule, unable to even consider the circumstances of the incident.
For the actual story, go here. Aren’t you glad these folks are teaching your children?
You can have my eating utsensil, Mr. Holder, when you pry it from my dead cold mouth.
I can see it now, First, Congress will ban the cub scout combination eating utensil without an eating utensil permit? Then plastic eating utensils will be illegal, what’s next chopsticks? Hmmm, Oh, no, wait the chopsticks are made in China, so they would be allowed, after all we wouldn’t want to upset our trade agreement. Then again is the FDA even concerned anymore with lead and melamine in our products but I do digress. Back to the lad, Zachary Christie, the boy is only 6 years old, when adults in high places, who are supposed to have common sense and discernment don’t, can we expect any better from future generations. You educators are supposed to have some wisdom use it. Don’t damage the kid’s morale because you can’t distinguish between an eating utensil held by a 6 year old while he is eating and a hunting knife brandished by a 16 year-old while he is threatening or lunging at his classmates. Stop using laws and policies as weapons.